


Fury of Fate

by SuicidalSmile



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt and comfort, Past shenko, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, and what happens when she comes back, basically everyone loves shepard and they dont know what to do about it, current shakarian, friendships that last past the grave fam, just not all romantic love, soft stuff, thoughts about shepard before and after her death, thoughts and feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-05-30 05:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuicidalSmile/pseuds/SuicidalSmile
Summary: Shepard is an enigma and what she represents to humanity is undeniable. A hero needs allies however, squad mates, partners- friends and the people at Shepard's side had many different feelings and thoughts on the famed Commander. A look inside each of the squad mates heads, outlining what exactly Shepard means to each one of them personally. Mass Effect 1/ Mass Effect 2:





	1. Joker

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone funny story i posted some of these original prompts like 3 years ago but never finished the set so that is what i've done. will have eventual shakarian but its shenko in me1 and kaidan is important. please tell me if you enjoy and comment if you can

Joker 

In many ways they were fated. Not in a weird romance novel way but in the- both had destinties bigger than themselves way. He knew it when he was born with brittle bones he’d have to work 110% harder than anyone else to prove his worth, his ambition. With his dad and sister back on Tiptree he soon found she was the closest thing he had to a friend. Although it wasn’t like that for a long while. When he first met her she was bright eyed and ready to serve, he’d just graduated flight school and he had a lot to prove. They were similar in that way too, both introduced to the world for the first time. Her as a promising marine and him as a cripple who overcame near impossible odds. It wasn’t until a few years later did he serve alongside her and things changed from their initial encounter. He’d grown confident and snarky, assured in his ability and had just been offered a spot on the prestigious Normandy, under the respected Captain Anderson. The second time he saw her she was haunted and looked through people instead of at them. He pitied her then, everyone had heard the stories- she was known as the sole survivor and it showed on her face. It disappointed him, although they’d only chatted briefly at an Alliance Navy assembly, he had tied himself to her. A weird, unspoken bond of his own creation. To see her, a shell of a person seemed too ill-fated to be anything but a bad omen for the future. However Rhia Shepard seemed to mock him unknowingly, for she showed up 3 years later and a Commander at that. He was shocked, and when Anderson had introduced them on the bridge, his jaw unhinged comically at her sudden arrival, she laughed. There she stood, shoulders straight, eyes forward and lip curled into a smirk- a look he’d become very familiar with. It took them awhile to become close, she admitted she didn’t remember meeting him but he didn’t resent her for it. Instead he decided their shared fate had gotten lucky and received a new beginning, not tarnished by her early career tragedy. They had a lot in common, both colony kids that had dreamed about military service. A fraction of that hollow look would appear on her face when she spoke of her home, the people she’d lost and the horrors she saw. She had had a younger brother, Isaac. She talked about him a lot, which was nice because he felt like he could gush about Hillary as well. Soon, the line of fate Joker had drawn in the metaphorical sand became blurred- she was too human in his eyes now. Fate became friendship. Others saw her Commander first, Rhia second but he wasn’t them. He never neglected her military prowess but he prefered to remember her favorite movie (Evil Dead an old Earth cult classic) or that she always slept with a light on. He did this partially for her own benefit, it was too easy for others to forget her humanity so he held on for her sake. He defined her by it. All her tiny, silly, Rhia specific humanities. All this was running through his head while she sat alongside him in the cockpit as she frequently did. She said she liked the view and humming of the machinery but there was more to it.  
“Aren’t you bored sitting there?” He had asked her once, eyeing her suspiciously as she gazed out the window, forgotten datapad in hand.  
She turned and offered him a smile, “not at all. I like the sound of your fingers working.”  
Her answer had surprised him and he remembered it fondly.  
“Still like the sound of my fingers working?” He asked her now, taking into account the cybernetic scars on her cheeks and the bags under her eyes.  
A lot had changed between them since he first had asked her that question- back on the Normandy SR1. She had a new life and he had just began to resume living his with her back.  
Again she offered him that same, easy smile. “Of course, but it’s also nice to just be around you.”  
“Oh? A show of sentimentality? You shouldn’t have Shep.” He teased, but his chest felt warm.  
Shepard chuckled, stretching and yawning in the chair. “You’re a dick. Can’t you say something nice once in a while?”  
Joker knew that Shepard never faltered. He knew she was unflinching, indomitable and just. He also knew that the 2 years she was “dead” were the worst two years of his life. That every night he found himself drowning in booze and couldn’t stomach his own reflection. He also knew how closely he aligned himself with her, she swerved right so did he- it was an unspoken allegiance but he’d sworn it. When he saw her there, in the Cerberus dock after two long years he knew it. I’m never letting her out of my sight again, he told himself she’ll be sick of me before she retires. This was his vow because Joker owed her his life, and more. But also he swore this to himself because of their shared fate. Decided by himself all those years ago.  
“You’re the reason I’m alive, Shepard. And I never once have taken that for granted. You go, I follow.” Joker managed dryly, his throat constricting in a rather uncharacteristically emotional gesture.  
Silence in response. Joker looked over and saw her, eyes closed, mouth open and breathing lightly- she’d fallen asleep!  
Snorting, he shook his head. “You’re supposed to actually listen when I say nice things, you dumbass.”


	2. Kaidan Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan (pt.1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here's chapter 2. please enjoy~

Kaidan would probably consider himself a romantic. Space, the final frontier, the thrill of adventure and travel was without a doubt a very appealing idea since childhood. Sure Jump Zero changed a lot of that, the mystique of space now reminded him of stony faced wardens and a nasty turian overseer. Still, he loved the idea of it all. What he admired and valued about space. . . he saw a lot of that in Shepard. It would be painfully cliche to say he fell for her at first sight but the sensation  _ was _ similar. He had heard the stories, everyone had. He’d even admit to being a little jealous that Joker had the opportunity to meet her already. She was the type people would write about, the type he used to read about and lot of those hopes and ideologies translated to their first meeting. At the side of Captain Anderson, dressed in light armor, sidearm still equipped, she was the picture of an Alliance soldier. Ginger hair cropped neatly under her chin and blazing emerald eyed. 

“This is Rhia Shepard. She’s to be my right hand during our following campaign. She answers to Commander and you’ll both get to know her very quickly.” Anderson said, eyeing Joker suspiciously, the pilot seemed particularly floored at the sight of the Commander. 

“Good to meet you both,” she responded in perfect authoritative cadence. “I like to exhibit an open door policy so any questions or criticisms of my actions under my command can be taken directly to me.” 

Kaidan was impressed and a little starstruck. The Captain and Shepard left quickly, beginning their tour of the ship and Kaidan was left with Joker. 

“Never thought I’d see her again.” Joker mumbled to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You know the Commander?” Kaidan asked, cringing internally at his own eager tone. 

The pilot had the gall to look smug, “sure we’ve met a couple times.”

Kaidan wanted to reach across the console and wipe that smirk off his face. 

Their first real mission together, Eden Prime, was a disaster. Jenkins dying, the geth . . . so much had gone wrong and he was watching her for signs of stress. However Shepard never flinched, Jenkins death rattled him, especially so early into the mission, but she remained focused. 

“We’ll see he gets a proper burial, Lieutenant. I promise.” She told him, patting him once on the back.

A gesture of comfort or familaiarity, he wondered. He appreciated her words and they continued on, the mission going from bad to worse.The horrors of Eden Prime were plenty, husks, senseless murder, geth and the possible meddling of a Spectre named Saren. None of it was encouraging for their chances of success. Still she pushed forward, helping the survivors where she could, but not missing a single beat as she pummeled enemy after enemy with her biotics. And when she saved him from that beacon . . . his heart shrank in horror. He was being careless, got sloppy around foreign alien tech and just as it began to scrape against the corners of his mind, he was yanked away. Watching in unmitten terror as her body trembled and shook with the force of it’s probing before collapsing to the ground. The rest happened quickly. Ashley and him called for the shuttle, carrying her while he cradled her neck in his hands the whole ride to the Normandy. Diligently he hovered over her, wracked with guilt as she rested fitfully. Chawkwas had to force him to leave the med bay, and even then he hung around the doors. The moment Chawkwas said she was stirring he snuck inside, hiding behind Anderson. Shepard opened her green eyes as the phantom of a bad dream was blinked away, sitting up slowly. The way she looked at him when Chawkwas explained what happened, made his heart pound- forgiveness with a clear intention to calm him. He still apologized profusely. 

“Don’t worry about it Alenko, I made the right choice.” She said with a crooked grin. 

He knew then. Stupid, romantic heart be cursed, he loved her. Following her promotion to Spectre they talked often and she often sought him out for advice. Kaidan got lucky and his unrequited love wasn’t so unrequited after all. One night over drinks she planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, tipsy but not enough so for her actions to be forgotten the next day. 

“You’re a good one, Kaidan Alenko. Now I just have to work up the nerve to do that sober.” She giggled, her cheeks flushed with drink and hair falling in her eyes. 

Kaidan could taste his heart in his throat. 

From Therum, to Noveria to that incredible night before Illos he was entirely and completely hers. Military command restricted their affections to fleeting caresses and loaded glances but in his heart he knew. This love was worth dying for. That said he never expected Shepard to be the one to make that sacrifice. She was the hero of the story, she  _ had _ to live on in honor of their fallen love, not the other way around. When Shepard was spaced, after insisting he get on the escape pod while she rescue Joker, Kaidan had a sick realization. The stories were wrong, love wasn’t worth dying for at all, it was worth  _ living  _ for and without it . . . life seemed entirely and wholly worthless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked please let me know ~


	3. Ashley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3! For Ashley who deserves more than the fandom gives

They hadn’t known each other for long but if they had . . . she was sure they’d be lifelong friends. After the mission they would’ve gone back to Earth on a victory tour, drank a  _ lot,  _ partied and be rightfully celebrated as heros. Kaidan would be there too of course, with his dorky laugh and easy temperance. They played well off each other, the three of them. Ashley was quick to act and harsh tongued, Kaidan was calming and considerate and Shepard . . . she was the flaming ball of resolve and dignity that held them together. When the Commander found her on Eden Prime Ashley wasn’t sure what to think. Of anything. The geth. The horrible, zombie-like monstrosities. This turan they were looking for- Nihlus. More or less she was an accessory to the mission but soon became a weapon for the Commander’s cause. The Normandy was the finest ship Ashley ever served on, top of the line equipment and more money thrown at it than she could even imagine. She was proud to serve, proud to be chosen to serve. And through the many weeks of scouring the galaxy for Saren’s agents, pirates, mercenaries or rogue AI she was grateful to be at Shepard’s side. And now on Virmire, her back against a low wall, clinging to her rifle as she patted her ammo pack furiously, looking for a grenade, a sticky- anything! It was then she knew. She couldn’t rob the Commander of Kaidan. She’d seen them together, shy glances in the mess, the tap on the back he’d give her once she’d fallen back from a messy fight. Seeing them together . . .for fuck sakes they  _ shone _ . It made her jealous because she’d never seen a woman so pretty as Shepard when she looked at Kaidan. Through the comm she was detecting a lot of chatter, the bomb was taking too long to prep, Kaidan was getting overwhelmed. As a bullet soared inches away from her cheek, she thought-  _ I can do this. It’s me or them and it’s gotta be them.  _

“Shepard,” she said lowly into the mic, eyeing the approaching geth hunter in her peripherals.

“Don’t worry Ash, I’m almost there!” The Commander panted through the line, her usual calm was laced with a distinct note of anxiety. 

Inhaling through her nose, Ashley responded. “No. Turn back and get your ass down to Alenko. He needs you.” 

A beat of silence. “Ash no, what are you-” 

“I mean it Commander! No matter what, you get Alenko out of here.” 

Another familiar voice, “respectfully Williams, absolutely not. Commander I’ll be fine, save Ashley.” 

Alenko that damn idiot, he was a higher ranking officer, a biotic and a good man. But he was also a stubborn fool and he’d sacrifice himself on that bomb if it meant she’d get out alive. She wasn’t going to allow it however, this scenario could only end two ways: with her death or his. And she refused to tarnish his and Shepard’s shine. 

“You know what’s the right choice, Commander! So do you LT. I will fight off these geth until I can’t anymore but you two gotta get out. For me and for you.” 

The meaning in her words was deliberate. They deserved a chance, even if it was slim and they could both die tomorrow their love, their  _ shine,  _ deserved that chance. 

Long silence, bullets riddled the wall at her back and plastic shards scraped the back of her neck. 

“Ashley, I’m sorry.” The Commander whispered into the mic. 

Good. She made the right choice, she exhaled deeply. “It was an honor, Commander.” 

Shaky breaths from Shepard, and more chatter on the comm, gunshots on the other end. Kaidan’s end!

“Go Commander!” Ashley yelled, gripping her gun and hammering an approaching geth in the head. 

“Thank you, Ash. For everything.” 

Ashley closed her eyes, popped a fresh ammo clip in her gun and accepted that this was how it should be. No matter what. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please drop a comment if you liked or if you just want to let me know how I'm doing. thanks


	4. Garrus Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus has some thoughts about the great Commander Shepard

Shepard didn’t ask for attention, she demanded it. Garrus had heard her name whispered in the halls of C-Sec many times before their official meeting. Big Alliance hero- check, up for a Spectre position-check, trailing after Saren? Now that particular detail caught his attention. He’d been trying for months to expose Saren to his higher ups, he’d been pulling bank statements, confessions from black market dealers and various witness testimonies. Nothing. People either wouldn’t listen or refused to, the council  _ especially _ didn’t like his attempts at lambasting their favourite dog. That's what they were dogs, highly trained hounds who could do whatever they wished without oversight. In the beginning he saw her as a dog too, a dog in training- biting at the bit to be promoted to further abuse power. He couldn’t have been more wrong. During their second encounter, after the shoot out in the clinic, he watched her more closely. She was doing this for the same reasons he was, to uncover corruption. And he especially liked the fact she didn’t care for military due process. The choice to help her take down Fist was an easy one, no one else was getting anything done and he was tired of tripping over red tape. And after Fist? It all happened very fast, she was handed the difficult task of hunting down Saren and he  _ needed _ in. It was a rash decision to jump aboard a human ship, knowing nothing about their chain of command or regulations but it was one he never regretted. He thought he knew much about the way of the world, working in C-Sec- he was laughably naive. With Shepard he saw ruins untouched for centuries, colonists fighting desperately for survival and simultaneously the best and worst the galaxy had to offer. Anyone else may have contented themselves with bitterness after all they’d seen, Shepard didn’t become jaded however. Every person they met was treated with a steady and resolute genuineness and fairness. The Commander was a helper and she would stop at no lengths if she thought she could better someone's situation. She also insisted on talking with  _ him  _ at frequent intervals, a fact he was curious and anxious about. He respected her, a human who thought on her feet and wasn’t afraid of stepping on anybody’s toes. His respect made him eager, she would occasionally tease him for this eagerness. 

“Your passion is adorable, Garrus.” She said with a laugh, “you always have so many ideas, I really appreciate it.” 

Turians weren’t frequently called ‘adorable’ especially not fully grown male ones, this comment gave Garrus pause. 

Another chime of laughter, “if you looked anymore shocked I’d say you were blushing but that’s probably exclusively a human thing, eh?” 

Thankfully he recovered from his shock enough to respond with, “what’s blushing? You humans have so many weird words.” 

“When humans get embarrassed or stressed our cheeks go red because blood rushes to them. See, watch this!” She brought her hands to her face and pinched her cheeks hard. 

Garrus watched in bemusement as the fleshy surface of her face brightened in hue, flushing into a delicate pink. His mandibles flickered with interest. 

“I can now safely say you humans are even more strange than I already thought.” Garrus said with a breathy chuckle. 

Shepard didn’t disagree with this statement and instead laughed along with him. It was an infectious sound and Garrus realized one of Shepard’s most powerful feats was her ability to make fast friends. 

And his admiration for her grew still. He was with her when they confronted Saren on Virmire, he’d never seen Shepard more furious. The air around her seemed to quiver with the biotic energy she was pulsating and her gaze was steely. Ashley was . . . well the odds weren’t good, he’d say that much. Kaidan was unconscious (or he hoped that was all he was) and unresponsive in a crumpled mess alongside the armed bomb. Like a comet, Shepard flung ball after energized ball of biotic energy at Saren who was floating just out of reach. Roaring in frustration, she launched herself upward, narrowly missing the bottomside of Saren’s hovercraft. All Garrus and Tali could do was try to keep the remaining geth off her. 

“Kaidan needs help!” Tali shouted panickedly over the barrage of gunfire. 

Garrus shot a backwards glance at the fallen Lieutenant and from what he could see of his face, it looked  _ very  _ pale. 

“Shit!” He cursed, glancing worriedly at Shepard as she blasted towards Saren once again. “We have to stop Shepard!” 

“I’ll get Kaidan, you get the Commander!” Tali yelled, hurrying off to help Kaidan. 

Again Garrus looked towards Shepard, she was noticeably tiring, chest rising and falling heavily, her gun arm limp at her side and barrier destabilizing.He knew the last thing she wanted was to be pulled from this fight, he didn’t want to be either- he wanted a bullet between Saren’s beady eyes. But . . . as he saw Tali struggle under Kaidan’s weight he knew what they had to do. Ducking his head he ran across the battlefield, picking off the last three remaining geth with a well placed concussive blast.

“Shepard!” He bellowed, “we need to go.  _ Now.”  _

Whipping her head around she looked at him like he was crazy, “you leave. I need to-”

“Alenko’s hurt!” Garrus bit out, “the bomb is about to go! Give it up.”

A myriad of emotions flickered through her emerald eyes, anger, doubt, panic but she settled on determined. Shaking her bangs out of her eyes, she threw one more powerful blast of biotics at Saren causing him to wobble midair. 

“Fuck this,” she spat, running past him and towards where Tali was struggling to lift Kaidan. 

Garrus covered her and Tali, taking sparatic shots at Saren as he emptied his clip. It didn’t matter though, with Saren’s cybernetic implants, each shot was useless. So they ran, Kaidan hoisted onto Shepard’s back as they escaped the blast by mere moments. Once they were back on the Normandy, her gloved fingers laced with Kaidan’s, eyes dark in thought . . . he knew Saren would die by her hand. Before it was uncertain if they’d  _ ever  _ be able to catch up to him, the galaxy was a big place but now, he was sure. Every moment between now and when Shepard confronted him next, were going to be plotting his demise. For Ashley and for everything else. Garrus knew then that nothing would keep this human from accomplishing what she needed to accomplish. Never had he been so assured he made the right choice in joining her on this insane mission. And after they won, beaten Saren and stopped a Reaper invasion and she was killed . . . Garrus thought the world had truly flipped. If it could take away such an incredible force of human willpower so quickly than maybe everything really had been for nothing. So he wound up on Omega, the best space station in the Milky Way for the nothings of all shapes and sizes. He swore that he’d  _ make  _ things make sense, or he’d die trying. That’s what he did, righting small wrongs that the big ol’ universe hadn’t gotten around to fixing yet. Sniper in hand and a vendetta burning in his heart, Garrus became Archangel. For Shepard’s sake, who had made things make sense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think? i love getting inside garrus' head and writing his and Shep's relationship

**Author's Note:**

> what did you think? joker is one of my fave characters and i love his relationship with shepard. imo its one of the most unique relationships of the game, more to come likely to post on sunday/monday.  
> please tell me your thoughts


End file.
